Stewie… A Credit Manager?
By R.C. Burch
Securing payment from slow-paying or non-paying customers is difficult enough of a task on its’ own, but that is not all a Credit Manager does DAILY. Many times it seems like managing a credit department is a thankless, never ending process of deciphering the good from the bad, the honest from the ‘not-so-honest’, listening to whining bad credit customers (who have an endless need to be swaddled and coddled regardless if they are deserving or not), all the while still maintaining an ethical decorum no matter the situation. It’s enough to make a sane credit manager want to suck his thumb— which got us thinking—–
Who Would Be The Worst Credit Manager Ever?
After much pondering over several nominees, and there were many close contenders, we decided Stewie, from The Family Guy, epitomized perfectly what a credit manager should not do. Below are “Stewieisms” that best depict scenarios that support PICB awarding this diSTINKtion to STEWIE!
Let us provide some better solutions and credit tips so your credit manager never gets nominated for a Dirty Diaper Award.
“There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just, I want her not to be alive anymore.”
Once a customer becomes a problem debtor it is easy to feel this way. Never let anger get in the way of working out a good deal. As much as you might want to “kill” someone for non-payment it is important to remain calm but firm in order to secure a payment.
“Oh! Oh! This story is so good, it must be fattening!”
Let the delinquent customer talk. Do not cut them off even when you know they might be lying. There are usually important details, that will help in your collections, they will inadvertently share.
“You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence … gotta get me some of that.”
Making threats will never help the situation. Empty threats are the worst because they undermine your word and make any actual legal threats sound hollow.
“Nothing says “Obey Me” like a bloody head on a fence post!”
When it comes to discussing what your legal options are in the event of non-payment make sure that you can actually follow through, or that it is worth following through on before a lawsuit or legal recourse is even mentioned.
“I’d love to stay and chat but your a complete bitch, so bye!”
Always remember, name-calling will get you nowhere.
“What the hell is this? I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack? (Smashes breakfast into wall.) Make it again!!”
Even if an account has agreed to pay, but ends up paying less than what was agreed upon, it is important to show the debtor or delinquent customer that you see they are trying. Telling the debtor that what they’ve done isn’t good enough only makes it more difficult to secure the rest of your money.
Whenever a customer proves too tough to handle don’t Poo-Poo the necessity of a good credit partner——PICB can help collect your little stinkers!